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  He rubs his chin. “Are you sure you’re not gay? You know that would be okay, right?”

  Since I can’t decide if I should roll my eyes or punch him in the face, I walk away.

  Naturally, he’s next to me two seconds later as we walk into the locker room. “Sorry, I’ll shut up about her.”

  “Thanks.” I inhale deeply, my chest suddenly feeling tight. “She’s my nanny, you know? She’s at home with my . . . with my son.”

  Absolutely no need to talk about her beauty.

  A quick glance around confirms that we’re alone. I don’t want someone hearing about my private life.

  Hunter doesn’t crack a smile this time. His big hand lands on my shoulder. “I know, dude. How are you both holding up?”

  I unzip my bag, giving the contents my full attention as I think about his question.

  How the hell do I explain that my whole life has been altered? That if I want to go to the store to grab something last-minute . . . that if I want to take a shower . . . nap. Forget hookups. Gone. I can’t do that anymore.

  I. Have. A. Son. A tiny human that will be my responsibility for at least the next fifteen years. How are we holding up?

  “I have no fucking idea what I’m doing, Hunt. None. Everything I thought was my path, my future . . . Everything’s changed. I used to hit my pillow and sleep. Now . . . now I wait for him to wake up and cry, because he’s lost his world too. During the day, he’s fine. Because he has Emilia. He really likes her.”

  “Don’t blame the guy. He’s got good taste.”

  Not wanting to talk about this anymore, I grab my things for the shower and get cleaned up quickly, so I can go home for lunch.

  With my kinda-cute son and my totally-not-hot nanny.

  Everything goes downhill afterward.

  Damn Hunter.

  It’s like he’s planted a seed in my brain, and I’m desperately trying to figure out if there’s any truth to his statements.

  Which there isn’t, right?

  I’m Emilia’s boss and definitely not attracted to her.

  She wears a giant bow in her hair, for fuck’s sake.

  When I step out of the car at home, the music from inside the house is loud enough to hear outside. Looks like someone’s having a party. Naturally, neither Emilia, nor Tanner, hear me walking into the living room. They both have their backs to me, giggling, as “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” plays from the speakers.

  Tanner’s eyes are glued on Emilia and her movements, touching all the correct body parts along with the music. Head, shoulders, knees, and toes.

  Since it seems to be my unlucky day, Emilia bends all the way down to touch her toes, her ass high in the air and on full display.

  Thank fuck she’s wearing leggings underneath her skirt, even though at this point, she might as well be naked since the black fabric clings to her like a second skin, doing nothing to hide her shaped ass cheeks. They are round and perfect, and shit . . . they’re sexy. So damn sexy.

  This is all Hunter’s fault.

  The song ends and Emilia squeals when she turns around and sees me standing there like a total idiot.

  After holding her hand over her chest, she looks at Tanner with a big smile. “Look, sweetie, there’s Daddy.” She spreads her fingers and touches her forehead gently with her thumb to sign daddy.

  “Hi.” Tanner waves in my direction with a shy smile and I return the gesture.

  Most of the time, I’m still not sure how to act around him. Am I expected to go hug him? Does he want me to hug him? Do I want to hug him? So many questions I don’t know the answers to.

  None of this seems to come natural to me, and I’m beyond grateful to have Emilia and my mom. I’d be utterly screwed without them.

  Emilia walks in my direction, her skirt swaying around her hips like it’s trying to pique my interest. “Hey, are you okay?”

  Shit.

  This is the absolute last thing I need in my life right now. My plate’s already full to the max.

  “Do you own anything else besides this hideous outfit?” The words leave my mouth while my brain’s still trying to reboot after my Hunter-might-actually-be-right-and-Emilia’s-sexy realization. Because, man, I’m so not okay with that.

  I probably should have worded it nicer, sound less like an asshole, but it’s too late now.

  Emilia impresses me by flinching for only a moment before she goes straight to cover up her emotions. But I can still see it. In her green eyes. The spark is gone, an emptiness lingering in its place. I did this, and she’s put up her guard.

  Tanner comes up next to her and roars before lifting his right arm in the air.

  He actually roars at me. What the hell?

  “Does Daddy seem mad?” Her face contorts, the friendly expression from a few minutes ago long gone, furrowed eyebrows and an upturned mouth in its place. But when she bends down to get on Tanner’s eye level, the look on her face has softened.

  Emilia starts singing quietly—a song about feeling so mad that you want to roar, from a Daniel Tiger episode I vaguely remember—while they do a dance with their hands. The song helps Daniel to calm down in the show.

  I’m too stunned to react, watching the scene unfold in front of me.

  Does that make them crazy or me?

  When they’re done, Emilia takes Tanner’s hand and ignores me. They walk to the dining table where she helps him in his highchair. After giving him a coloring book and some crayons, she’s off to the kitchen.

  Her damn skirt taunting me some more.

  Short of cussing, or worse, slamming my head into something, I go to my bedroom, planning on meditating for a few minutes before I get my lunch.

  Fucking Hunter.

  Five

  Emilia

  It’s my first real evening off all week, and I spend it worrying about my boss.

  Something is off with Jace. He’s been acting strange all week, ever since that day he barked at me because of my outfit. I’m actually pretty sure he’s been avoiding me as much as possible.

  Suddenly, there are longer training sessions again, he packs up his lunch in the morning and has it someplace else, and whatever other excuse he can come up with to avoid coming home.

  If he won’t bring it up soon and tell me what’s going on, I will. I hate any sort of conflict or confrontation, like really hate it, but constantly wondering if I did something wrong is a lot worse for me and will drive me to the edge of insanity.

  Something must have happened to get that reaction from him, and I’ve been wracking my brain to figure out if I did anything but keep coming up empty.

  Now this worry is taking over my free time too, and I hate it.

  My phone beeps on my dresser, and my heart does an extra flip when Jace’s picture pops up on the screen.

  Speak of the devil.

  He doesn’t know I took a photo of him one afternoon, but I wasn’t going to ask him if I could. I just wanted it for his phone contact.

  Talk about an awkward conversation.

  It makes my life easier when I don’t have to try and decipher names when I get a call, so I use photos as often as I can.

  I sit up in bed and straighten my tank top as if he could actually see me. Then I mentally berate myself. I don’t need that added stress in my life.

  After clearing my voice about five times, and taking two sips of water, I swipe the button on my screen to answer the call. “Hello?”

  “Emilia.”

  I still can’t decide if it irks or amuses me that he still calls me by my normal name when barely anyone else does. Except my family, of course. With them, it definitely gets a rise out of me.

  “Hey, Jace.” Very casual and aloof. Good.

  Maybe he called to talk about what stick has been up his butt. I’d definitely be up for that conversation.

  “I need your help, please. It’s Tanner.” He’s out of breath, and if I’m not mistaken, his voice is shaky.

  That definitely get
s my attention, and I’m immediately on alert, my body tight with tension. “What’s going on?”

  A breath rushes out of him, making me hold my own for a moment. “I think his cough has gotten worse. He woke up and started crying. I gave him some water, but it doesn’t seem to help. And now he sounds weird, kind of like a seal. I know that sounds stupid, but I don’t know how else to describe it.”

  “Did you say seal?” Just then, Tanner coughs in the background, and I grab the edge of my comforter to pull it off my body. He got a cold this week and started coughing this morning, but it didn’t sound anything like this. “Take him to the ER, Jace. I’ll meet you there.”

  “ER?”

  I’m so focused on finding some clothes in my messy bedroom that I almost miss the panic in his voice. When his next gasp registers, my chest tightens, making my own breath expel.

  “Yes, emergency room. Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. I’m sure he’s fine, but the pediatrician’s office is closed by now, but it could be croup, which means his airways could swell closed. My motto is better safe than sorry, especially when it comes to kids.” I put on whatever is within reach, not paying much attention to what it is, before grabbing a few things to throw it in my purse.

  When he still hasn’t said a word a moment later, I stop what I’m doing, trying to give him my undivided attention, even though it feels wrong to stop moving right now. “Do you want me to come to the house and get you guys?”

  His next exhale squeezes my chest again. It’s shaky, and it might sound odd, but it sounded sad. “No, it’s fine. Just meet us there.”

  There’s a hint of strength returning to his voice, so I nod to myself and adapt to his behavior. No need to freak out now. “All right. You know where it is, right? The children’s hospital?”

  Their devotion and ability to deal with sick children day in and day out is miraculous. I don’t think I could do it, but I’m beyond grateful there are people who can. Both children and parents need them.

  “It’s the one over on fifty-second, right?”

  “Yes, that one.” I nod like he’s standing right in front of me. “You’ll probably beat me to it, so I’m just going to call you when I get there.”

  Tanner’s hushed cough in the background snaps me out of my frozen state, and I throw my purse over my head to secure it across my body. Nicole’s spending the night at her boyfriend’s place—like most nights—and the house is dark when I make my way through it. After grabbing a few things from the kitchen, I shove my feet into my shoes, snatch my helmet, and lock the front door.

  Having any sort of emergency with kids makes me nervous, my cool facade slipping the tiniest bit when I climb on my moped.

  I know Tanner’s going to be okay, but I need to see him with my own eyes.

  When I get to the hospital, I’m covered in goose bumps. I should have worn something warmer but didn’t want to waste the time to drive back home to change clothes.

  I storm into the hospital like my butt’s on fire, just to come up short at the check-in window. I’m not even sure how I’m supposed to get back there. The doors to the emergency room wing are locked. Dang it.

  “Hi. May I help you?” The lady behind the glass gives me a tired smile as I step closer.

  “Yes. I’m here to see Tanner Atwood.” It’s taking every last ounce of self-control to keep my voice steady.

  Her gaze goes up and down my body, her dark eyes friendly but stern. “Are you related to him?”

  “I’m . . . no, I’m not. Not directly.” Why didn’t I think of this before? “I’m his . . . Jace Atwood is my . . .”

  The corners of her mouth lift the slightest. “Oh, that’s right. You’re Jace’s new girlfriend, aren’t you? Or was that his other swimmer friend who has someone new?” She shakes her head and chuckles softly. “I’m sorry, my daughter is a huge swim fan and keeps up with all of this stuff, telling me about it if I want to hear it or not.”

  Heat floods my face, and she must take my stunned silence as an admission.

  “Well, for what it’s worth, you two make a lovely couple. Can I see your ID, please?”

  I’m too chicken to correct her, focusing on my purse instead. Which naturally has everything I could possibly ever need to survive any kind of apocalypse, except for my wallet. Just great.

  I’m about to inform her about my misfortune when my phone begins to vibrate in my hand, Jace’s photo covering the whole screen. The lady behind the security glass sees it and winks at me, and I want to disappear into thin air.

  Hurrying up to escape this discomfort as soon as humanly possible, I answer the phone. “Hey.” I hope he doesn’t notice my voice sounding all breathy.

  “Where are you?”

  “Just outside the ER doors, trying to get in. It’s not—”

  “I’m coming.” And then my ear fills with the beeping sound of the dead line after Jace hangs up on me.

  I send another awkward smile at the employee and feel so relieved when Jace opens the ER doors that I want to kiss him. Which is a very random, and very odd, thought because I don’t really want to kiss him.

  Tanner is in his arms, clinging to him like he’s afraid to fall off the mountain of a man, a.k.a. his dad. The second he sees me, his lips start to quiver and he lets go of Jace’s neck to stretch his arms toward me. My heart twists, and my stomach quivers, as I inhale a reassured breath at seeing that he’s okay.

  “Aww come here, monkey. It’s okay.” He wraps his small limbs around my neck and waist in a grip that could rival a python’s, pressing his warm face into my shoulder. I start rubbing his back with one hand while casting a glance over his shoulder at Jace.

  He must have talked to the lady while I took Tanner from him, ushering me forward to the door he’s still holding open with one long arm. “Come on, the doctor should be there any second.”

  I don’t dare glance over at the lady, but I’m pretty sure she has her eyes on me. Us. When Jace puts a hand on my lower back to guide me through the door, I’m certain I hear a sigh coming from her direction.

  Oh, brother.

  Jace guides me down a short hallway until he steps around me to pull back the curtain of one of the rooms. “In here.”

  Not wanting to disturb Tanner, I walk over to the bed to lean against it. Jace stops a foot in front of me, his gaze focused on his son. Lifting a hand, he brushes back Tanner’s hair from his forehead, touching his knuckles along my neck in the process. I involuntarily shiver at the contact, but either Jace doesn’t notice or he ignores it.

  Thank goodness.

  Before either one of us can say a word, a woman steps into the room, closing the curtain and glass sliding door behind her, sheltering us from the bustle of the emergency room. “Hey, guys. I’m Dr. Shelton.” She looks down at her chart. “And you’re here because of Tanner? Tell me what’s going on.”

  Jace opens his mouth as a nasty coughing fit trembles through Tanner’s small body. It sounds painful, and his eyes get watery as he looks at me as if I alone can make this nasty sickness go away. My throat tightens. There’s nothing I’d like to do more than make him feel better. The need to do something fills me to the point of frustration.

  “Ah yes, poor guy.” Doctor Shelton makes a note on her chart before placing it on the counter and washing her hands. “Tell me about his symptoms. When did it start? Have you given him any medicine yet?”

  Jace sends me a look I can’t decipher. Is he freaking out about this? Could I really blame him though? This is his first real sickness with his child, and it’s definitely a learning curve.

  I turn my head away from Tanner as much as I can and clear my throat. “It started as a regular cold. Stuffy nose, normal cough. He had a bit of a temperature, around one oh one, and I gave him some Motrin before bedtime around six.”

  The doctor dries her hands on a paper towel and nods. “Okay. Let’s take a look at him.”

  She pats the examination bed, and I slowly lower Tanner on it.
r />   The exam is quick, and she constantly reassures Tanner, who never once lets go of my hand, leaning into my side as if he’s trying to establish as much contact with me as possible.

  “Good job, buddy.” She nods to us, signaling she’s done as she puts her stethoscope back around her neck. “His lungs sound good, but I can’t tell for sure if it’s croup. His breathing is a bit noisy but kids also like to suppress their cough when it hurts, so it might clear up the next time he really coughs. Since his cough sounds a little like barking though, I’d like to give him some steroids just in case. And keep giving him pain medicine to keep the temperature down. You can switch back and forth between Tylenol and Motrin.”

  Jace nods next to me, even though I can’t tell if he actually knows what she’s talking about. One of the kids I used to nanny for had it once, and that’s the only reason I know about this.

  Dr. Shelton walks to the sink to wash her hands once more before picking up her clipboard to scribble her notes on. “If you have a humidifier, I’d put it in his room. If the cough continues like this, you can take him outside when it’s cool or even have him take a few deep breaths in front of an open freezer. I’ll send you home with an extra dose in case things aren’t better by tomorrow. The most important thing is that he gets a lot of rest. And lots of fluids.”

  Jace and I have both turned into mimes, constantly nodding our understanding. Dr. Shelton laughs.

  “I know, it’s a bit overwhelming, but Tanner will be fine. Just check with the pediatrician in a few days.” She holds out a piece of paper and Jace takes it while I’m back to rubbing Tanner’s back in rhythmic movements.

  After we say our goodbyes to her, a nurse comes to give Tanner his medicine and some juice. I hum quietly to him and watch Jace take the discharge papers, happy we can finally get this boy back home in his bed.

  We walk out of the hospital in silence, Tanner’s head heavy on my shoulder as his breaths slowly even out and his grip loosens around my neck.